Listen: How to find the words for tender conversations by Kathryn Mannix

During tender conversations, the task is not to solve, but to simply listen.

Title: Listen: How to find the words for tender conversations 

Author: Kathryn Mannix 

Mannix is providing so many life lessons in this packed book, all focused on tender listening and putting others at the forefront. She freely shares her many years of experience from working in palliative care including the use of CBT techniques in tender conversations. The book also includes a bit of a plea to all of us to prepare for the time when we're approaching the end of this life, to ensure practicalities like power of attorney is in place. 

Mannix uses 'tender conversations' to describe sensitive and respectful conversations; yes there may be some pain involved, but the pain doesn't' need to be overcome, but rather acknowledge, by being fully present. 

"It's stories, not rules, that change people"

By asking curious questions during tender conversations we can seek, explore and clarify information. 

Even when we know what the matter is with someone (like e.g. an illness or recent loss), we need to pause and understand what matters to them. To enable tender conversations we need to listen, not to answer, but to understand. And to check to make sure that we do understand. 

During tender conversations, the task is not to solve, but to simply listen.

"Helpful questions and tender listening; a gentle way to get alongside someone in distress."

In her natural way of story telling, Mannix describes sympathy as expressing concern through a doorway; empathy enters the place of suffering and offers companionship; whereas compassion is the solidarity that seeks the other person's good, for the other person's sake. 

"Understanding the value of silence is key to tender conversations" and on that note. I'll finish this review. 

Get your copy

Listen is released as hardcover and for Kindle on 16 September 2021- click here to get your copy on Amazon. 

If you find Listen interesting, don't miss her other book With the End in Mind: Dying, Death and Wisdom in an Age of Denial. To read my review of this one please click here.